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It makes me feel like this! Unbelievably, excruciatingly, randy."Perhaps you could slip off your suit?" I suggest before I have thought what I'm saying. And once I have said it, I freeze. So absurd does what I have just suggested sound, so crassly unacceptable, I feel she will not have heard me. It is as if the suggestion's sheer absurdity will render it somehow nonexistant. I haven't even asked her why she's here. It may be about her ... I dunno, baby son, hulking father, world heavyweight champion wrestler of a husband? (Is she married?) I knew I had surgery this morning, so why did I drink? I know what it does to me, for chrissake! And I should never have gone into gynaecology. I should have done surgery. Or sick kids. Been a vet! What made me do gynaecology?"Shouldn't there be a nurse?" she asks.OF COURSE THERE SHOULD BE A FUCKING NURSE!My eyes are still locked on to the first (blank) page of her file, like a limpet to a rock, I mumble something vague about ... something-or-other. “Okay. Good. Thank you Miss Thompson and, of course, Mr. Murphy for pointing out that little conundrum. I generally give the classes about two weeks to realize that, even though I assigned the chapters to be read for homework, we would nevertheless take the time to read them in class. I was hoping someone would say something. I was getting a little worried none of you would.”The voluptuous blonde made her way back to her podium. “Now that we have that out of the way, I will explain how this will work from now on.” She reached into the shelf just beneath the podium and pulled out a stack of papers.“From now on, when I assign a chapter for you to read on your own time, you will read it on your own time. The next time you step back into this class, you had better have already read the chapter because you will be quizzed.” A small sigh of defeat came from a few of the students.“If you had not read the chapter, you could thank Tim and Beth, but don’t think I wasn’t going to give a quiz.
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